Last week my parents celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary.
When you think about it, that’s a lot of years! They were married on the campus of Syracuse University(where they both attended) and had their reception at my Mom’s Gamma Phi sorority house.
I joked with my parents that their secret to a happy marriage is: let Dad buy all the technology he wants and let Mom buy all the scrapbooking supplies she wants. Everyone wins!
With my own nuptials on the horizon (6 months as of yesterday!) that got me thinking: what is the secret to a happy marriage??
With society the way it is these days and celebrities getting married and divorced every two seconds, what are the keys to making a relationship last 35+ years?? I took to the internet to find out….
Marriage in Magazines
A quick Google search brings up site after site on the topic. Every women’s magazine had a post about it.
I read through a bunch of them and found some that I really enjoyed.
A Marriage Should Run on Multiple Tracks. ”Marital success is not…about depending on someone else. Instead, each spouse should allow for self-growth, whether in a career, through special hobbies, or pursuing fun with a great group of pals.”
Read more: How to Have a Successful Marriage – Secrets to a Good Marriage – Good Housekeeping
I like that idea. You shouldn’t have to have the EXACT same interests and spend EVERY moment together. Having separate interests, friends and hobbies that you spend time investing yourself into can be healthy.
Love the flaws. “A husband is there for every grumpy morning, every bad-hair day and every time you lose a wrestling match with your panty hose. This used to seem unglamorous to me, like the bloom fading off the rose. Now I see a deeper love in the day-to-day existence. Anyone can carry on a grand passion from a distance. It takes a real lover to adore a human being, warts and all.” Read more: 19 Secrets to a Happy Marriage – Redbook
This is a great point. Even when I feel like a hot mess, my hair isn’t brushed, I’m sweaty and gross after a run, Z will still tell me I’m beautiful. The feeling is mutual: when he makes weird faces, or places random objects on his head, I love him still.
“I once asked an elderly neighbor this very same question. He and his wife had been married more than 50 years. He replied, “Oh, my dear, it’s really very simple. My wife and I agreed long ago that I’d make all the big decisions and she’d make all the little decisions. And in all these years together, there just haven’t been any big decisions.” Read more: What Are the Secrets to a Happy Marriage?- Real Simple
I love the humor in that response! Z and I have already encountered quite a few big decisions to make and know that there will be plenty more of those to come. How we reach a consensus of those decisions will be an ever growing processes (I want to plan out every little detail and predict every possible outcome…he’s fine just going with the flow and whatever happens happens).
Marriage to Me
While I don’t believe there is ONE secret to a long happy marriage, there are certainly things that are important. Each relationship is unique, but those couples that have lasted longer than I’ve been alive must be doing SOMETHING right.
Stay tuned for part 2 tomorrow, where I pose this question to my friends and family!
I want to know…
Are you married? If so, for how long?
Even if you’re not married, what do YOU believe is the secret to a long happy marriage?